“I ran the risk of disappearing down a big black hole – and I’ve still not accepted it.”
Those are the heart-breaking and honest words shared by a mother whose unborn child died while she was pregnant.
The bereaved 36-year-old, Nancy Monk, was due to give birth to her baby via caesarean section later this year on September 15.
But her child, who she named Reggie, died unexpectantly at just 17 weeks old.
She said: “There’s been a lot of emotion and upset this year. The feeling of denial lasted a long time, followed by anger.
“I’m still not at the acceptance stage.”
Ms Monk, who has a six-year-old son, Ted, will be marking what would have been Reggie’s birthdate with a special memorial run.
At the same time, she will be raising funds for East Anglia’s Children’s Hospices (Each) by completing a 13.7-mile trek - just over half a marathon.
She added: “I’m certainly not doing this for closure, because I don’t want to forget my baby.
“However, I want to focus on something and provide a positive ending to what’s been a shocking few months.”
During the run, she will be leaving two keepsakes on her friend’s daughter’s grave at Lowestoft.
“As I don’t have anywhere to visit for my little one, my friend has so kindly said I can put flowers on the grave of her little girl in memory of my baby, too," she added.
“Jo and her husband Lee lost a baby during birth and Each had been wonderful at supporting them.”
Their daughter, Tamzin, would have turned 12 this year.
Ms Monk’s route, when plotted online, will form the shape of a bow.
A previous resident of Great Yarmouth and Lowestoft, she works as an osteopath and in ergonomics. She now lives in her native Northamptonshire.
“I used to do a lot of running,” she said. “Then, when I had my son, Ted, six years ago, it came to a bit of a halt.
“But I needed something to focus on, rather than running the risk of disappearing down a big black hole.
“I’m so grateful and not feeling quite so alone now.”
To sponsor Ms Monk visit the Just Giving fundraising page at justgiving.com/fundraising/nancy-monk.
- To pay tribute to a loved one email norfolktributes@archant.co.uk
- To read more obituaries and tributes join the Facebook group Norfolk's Loved & Lost.
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